Firstly, there is a window in marriage. Its where people will bug you and bug you about not having kids yet. It probably lasts about a year after your married until you cave in and have kids. These people don't really know what they're saying. In fact, they're likely just joking around. I don't think its funny.
So, for us, it started around 2003. We were in YWAM and one of our students, a middle aged man with 2 or 3 kids of his own, kept bugging me because we didn't have any kids yet. Actually, it was more than just bugging. He seemed to think that it was his mission to pester me about it. He seemed disappointed in me, which was weird.
4 years later and we had a kid. In between those years were some of the best years of our lives. We travelled, we went out late, and we pretty much did whatever we wanted to do. It was great.
My kids are great. I am enjoying the challenge and joy of seeing them grow up into stubborn, hyper, gifted little boys. I love them and I am thankful for the gifts that they are.
Yet, I am thankful for those year where it was just the 2 of us.
Don't let people get to you. For some reason, having kids is the upmost important thing to haggle younger couples about. I'm not sure why people find it important to pry into other peoples lives.
Not to mention the complications that come with having kids. Namely, the fact that a lot of people have complications when trying to have kids.
How awful it would be to hear those words "why don't you have kids" when having kids might be the very thing you dream about. The very thing you long for every day, every doctor, every prayer.
Or what if you don't want kids? I think that a lot of people have a hard time trying to grasp the idea of not wanting kids. The simple solution is to mind your business.
There are single people, childless people, people with 1 kid, people with 10 kids. Fat people, ugly people, bald people, sexy people, independent people, needy people.
We're all just people.
We all do things that other people don't understand. We have things about us that other people don't understand.
What needs to happen is we need to stop expecting everyone else to do as we would do.
So if you're young and in love, have some kids if you want. It will definitely be awesome. Or not. Or Wait. Or don't have them at all.
All I can say is that I enjoyed not having kids for a while. Take it or leave it, but for goodness sake, let's all take our foot off the gas and just let people make these decisions for themselves.
Now, the other thing. But first I must say that the following applies to me as well. I am learning just as you all with kids should learn.
If you have kids, please don't ram them down other peoples throats. As my kids get older I am learning that not everyone thinks that they're the most amazing things in the world. Crazy, right?
I think it has to do with growing in maturity as a parent. The newness of everying seems so interesting that you think everyone wants to know about your new double stroller or the latest thing your kid did that was just the cutest thing in the word.
Share these stories, but in moderation. Throw a filter on it. It's amazing as to how many people you know who are already over everything you have to say about your child.
Oh, they love your child, and probably enjoy having them around. But tone down the baby talk, the blogs, the Facebook albums.
I'm not saying we Should cut it all out all at once. But man, do we like advertising our kids.
No wonder society keeps bugging young couples about it.
Love you , Miles and Jonas!