The Envelope, Please.

Jonas and Miles warming up for the Oscars in the preschool dance studio

 Word on the street is that it's almost March.  I have checked a calendar and have confirmed that it's definitely true.  More on that later.

The Oscars snuck up on me this year.  Last year I was well prepared, having seen all of the Best Picture nominated films prior to the event.  This year I couldn't even tell you all of the nominated films.

I did see Hugo.  It was nice.  Some of the 3D shots were nice, but in general the whole effect is quite distracting.  At times, like during conversation, the characters seem to be floating on the screen.  How much longer do we have to deal with this 3D craze?  I don't ever want to see another movie where I need to wear over sized glasses.  Unfortunately, the flaw in my plan to outlaw 3D films is that all of the glasses would then go to teenage girls who poke out the lenses and wear them as some sort of fashion statement.

Moneyball; that's a good movie, but mainly if you're a sports fan.  I understand that a lot of non-sports people liked it,  and it's a great story about a guy who still toughing it out with the low budget Oakland Athletics.  Great story.

I hear that the chubby guy was nominated for best supporting actor.  Not so sure about that one.

Anyways, I should stop talking about the movies that are nominated because after Hugo and Moneyball I haven't really had a chance to see any of them.

Billy Crystal is hosting again.  Last year it was Anne Hathway and James Franco.  I guess that whole "young and hip" movement ended pretty quickly.  Now they're resorting to what worked 15 years ago.  I'm sure they could have found someone else, but I guess they're scared of people criticizing their decisions, which is funny because that's what all of the critics are paid to do.

I think that the best thing to do is find a person who is connected with the film industry, but not very active in it.  In that way, I guess Billy Crystal is a good pick, but once again, the guy is closing in on 70 years old.  They're going to need to find some new people sooner than later.

Here is my short list of people who should host the Oscars:

Steve Carrell - He's a funny guy, but he can be serious as well without being annoying like Anne Hathaway, who was not funny and overcompensated with enthusiasm.

I think that the host shouldn't crack jokes like some sort of stand-up comic.  A little dry humor would be nice.  Maybe a little "I'd rather be some place else" attitude, yet into it at the same time.  Who does that remind me of?  Oh, yes...

Alex Baldwin - This is the guy.  I realize that he's hosted before, but that was with Steve Martin as a sidekick.  Let the man fly solo.

Everyone likes this guy.  He's got good stage presence and I think that he can make things seem like he's got a say in how things are going.  It's awkward to watch when the host is just some sort of robotic extension of the writer's jokes and the producers vision.  Let the host be in charge.

How about Ellen and Justin Timberlake co-hosting?  They'd be good together.  Maybe that would work in a few years, maybe 10, when they're older.  JT is cool, but maybe too hip and cool.  After a few years he'll age into a well dressed older fellow, which will make him less intimidating to the pickier crowd.

In my opinion, the people who shouldn't host are the straight stand-up comedy guys.  This is what I don't like about having Billy Crystal so often.  He's a joke crack after joke crack after joke crack kind of guy.  That gets old pretty quick.  I mean, that was funny when Bob Hope was hosting, but that was also 50 years ago when comedy started at slapstick and ended with boss/wife jokes.

Finally, I must address a snub.  All of the movies being nominated for Best Picture (there are 10 of them!) and there's no room for Melancholia?  This is a beautiful movie.  I wrote about it in my movie reviews section. 

Everything about it worked perfectly, like some sort of happy accident.  Seriously, how did this movie turn out so perfectly?  Lars von Trier, for the first time, makes a movie that everyone can appreciate.  Kirsten Dunst acts like no one knew she could, much like Natalie Portman did last year in Black Swan.  Charlotte Gainbourg ties it all together.

The thing I loved about this movie is that I found it so fulfilling to be able to relate to all of the main characters, and yet they're all so different.  It really touched on a lot of emotional levels; fear, depression, anger, helplessness, arrogance, love...  It just had it all.  And besides all of that content, the opening of this film is perfect.  The most perfect opening to a movie I have ever seen.

I guess some of the reasons for the film receiving zero nominations would include that Lars von Trier is pretty weird, said some controversial things this year, and has never been to America before so he probably wouldn't show up anyways.

As a warning to those of you who are thinking of going out to watch this movie I must add that it does contain mature subject matter and may not be suitable for all walks of life.

In any event, I plan on downloading the Oscar show sometime next week.

March.  March is upon us.  And movies are a fun time, but in March there will be a lot of preschool buzz.  Joan Rivers will show up at the preschool with her daughter and they'll both be talking about all of the gorgeous and handsome preschoolers.

"Who's she wearing?" they'll ask.

"What kind of statement is he making," they'll wonder.

It's going to be the talk or the town, and in fact, it already is over here on the 10th floor.

My wife Barbara will be opening her preschool on the 5th to a small group of foreign and local kids.  It's the trial semester, the time when they can work out all of the bugs and get things ready to open it up to a lot more kids in the Fall. 

I'll write more about this at a later date, and there will be photos with all of the juicy news and excitement.

We're all pretty excited about this.  Barbara has worked very hard over the last few months preparing things, learning things, and just diving into things (not literally).  We're all very proud of her, and would gladly award her the Oscar in the category of Achievement in Sticktuitiveness.  She is very sticktuitive and lovely.