Saturday, June 18, 2011
Father's Day... the 4th!
Happy Father's Day to all of the Dadeos out there. This day is a unique day in that most fathers probably forget about it until it actually arrives. Mother's Day, on the other hand, is an important day as everyone knows, and one that is anticipated and planned for many days in advance. Father's Day is a little sneakier.
For me, it sneaks up after my birthday. I have come to appreciate the day as they are slowly being tallied up. Today I was given these beautiful gifts from Barbara and the boys:
Beer and paperweights make my day.
This is my 4th Father's Day, even though Miles isn't quite 4 yet. I remember it being this time 4 years ago when a close friend sent a Father's Day greeting to me. Barbara was just 2 months pregnant but our friend was kind enough to point out that it has already begun. At the time I already had fathering responsibilities. The primary one was to make sure that Miles was well taken care of. The only way to do that, at the time, was to take care of Barbara.
I have friends right now in the middle of the long process of adopting. I've only heard a few of the many things they've had to do in order to get ready and "qualified" for this child. It's amazing to see them already mothering and fathering this child without even knowing him/her yet. The love and care that go into filling out forms and buying fire alarms are all ways of expressing their love to this child. Happy Father's Day to Justin!
Adoption has always seemed like a beautiful thing to me. When a movie has adoption in it, or when I meet people who have adopted, I am just in awe of how amazing and loving the whole thing is. Someday, lord willing, we will also be able to provide a home and family for someone who needs it.
Not only was it important to take care of Miles' mom at the time, but it was important to get into the mindset that I was going to be busier. I was going to have to sacrifice time and energy for this little guy. At first, it was easy to take care of Miles. He slept a lot, weighed about 10 pounds, and his mom did all of the feeding. I changed diapers, but even those weren't that bad at the beginning.
Now, Miles is 3 and a half, but I think that his smarts is more around a 5 year old's level. He's doing math now! I've got more responsibilities, and not only that, but when they get older it is easy just to put a movie on. It is easy to not play with my kids all day. It's easy to feed them instant noodles every day. It's easy to do all that because it's not right and the easy thing to do is usually the lazy thing. They need even more input and wisdom from me than they needed at the beginning. On top of that, they want to play with me. They are people and they actually like me. Who am I to ignore that kind of love?
Anyways, I am pretty, pretty happy that we had these two little boys. I am thankful that they are growing strong and that they love their mom and dad. I hope that I can limit my father screw ups to the minimum and that they won't hold them against me when they become cool teenagers.
Happy Father's Day to my dad, my mom's dad, and my wife's dad and the other dad's that I know.
To misquote Bruce McCulloch:
"These are the dads I know, I know, these are the dads I know."