Thursday, August 25, 2011

Continously on the hunt for their own self esteem

A reference:

A few of us have translated Douche Bag into Chinese as 堵车 袋子 "Du Che Dai Zi", which really only means traffic jam bag. Though it is not accurate, it has stuck. Up until recently, I thought that the only person in this neighborhood worthy of the term was my American friend Dustin. But yesterday, that all changed...

I saw them yesterday, with my own eyes... Chinese Douche Bags!

They were 'comin' right at me, Bro!', or '过来就到我,哥哥!’.

Actually, they were walking down the road at the same time as me. Let me explain how I was able to spot them:

1. There were 3 of them. As far as I know, Douche Bags don't travel in groups smaller than 3. Correct me if I'm wrong, but from what I can gather, if they would travel in a group with less than 3 peers in it then they would all fall over.

2. They had their collars 'popped'. One of the shirts was pink. It was at this tell tale sign that I could definitely confirm that they were genuine. Pink is very 2005, which is, if I'm correct, the year of Jubilee for the Douche.

3. Even though there was plenty of space on the sidewalk, they walked on the road.

4. One thing that I noticed with the Chinese Douche is that they spit a lot, even more so than regular Chinese men. At least one of these guys was spitting every 10 seconds.

I can only hope that I am lucky enough to come across more of these guys. I'm curious as to the qualities unique to Chinese douche bags that I might have missed the first time around. My hypothesis is that they have evolved in a uniquely Chinese way and it would be very interesting and enlightening to see just how that has worked out for them.

Man, I wish I had a camera yesterday. These guys were straight out of an episode of "Shang Hai Shore". Fascinating specimens, they certainly are.

1 comment:

Amy Lindeman said...

this should be published in an anthropological journal, Brett.