Dear friends, there is a good feeling in here for you somewhere.
When my purchase of Sufjan Stevens' new record arrived in the mail I was delighted to find a download code to go along with it. I know record purists consider included Mp3s to be in poor taste, but I am not one to want to purchase the same music twice. I punched in the code and soon enough I would have my very own legally burned copy of Carrie and Lowell to listen to in the Matrix whenever I pleased.
Now, first of all, that album is a heart breaker. When I had heard the first track a few weeks earlier online, I teared up in the office. It hit me slowly. Like a crush more than a hit. This is an album I would recommend to you if I were writing about it, and I am, so I am.
In my car, I was introduced to the second song. It's called I should have known better, and I honestly, should have.
The heartache struck again. I heard a line that made me think of my beautiful niece Katie:
My brother had a daughter
The beauty that she brings, illumination.
I often think about lyrics that transcend specific meaning and intent. Though I am not quite sure what this song is all about, with this seemingly obscure line, Sufjan seemed to have been thinking of me. Maybe it's the mystery of the lyrics that surround it.
I think of her every time I hear it.
And here's where things really light up.
After this realization, and as I was really starting to enjoy the whole album, particularly my line, my other brother had a baby. A beautiful 4 pounds and 6 ounces of a baby girl!
So, a few weeks after meeting her, I was listening to the song again and the line hit me in a whole new way. More life breathed into an already vibrant meaning and feeling!
I pulled the car over.
What is this joy that I should have 2 beautiful nieces to think about from this song? Who am I? This line, tucked away in the 2nd song of Carrie and Lowell.
It's for me.