Tuesday, September 9, 2008

Moustache Mayhem!

After not shaving for a good month and a half, I thought it time to start the school year off fresh. I decided to document the shave...

This was the basic style that I decided to work with throughout the shave. The "handle bar" look was something that I thought needed to be elaborated on. Most men tend to trim down the bars a little too early for my liking. I figured that, considering the length of the whiskers, I would let them hang down slightly lower to give things a little more of a creepy look. Upon further review, it is clear that this method is effective.(see below)

Those lower whiskers are reaching close to chin level.

The Creepy Look

The creepy look has been brought to completion in this next pose. Notice the contrast portrayed on both the left and right side of the face. Having the left eye squint along with a slight raise of a smirk gives the viewer a feeling that is both nauseating and fearful.

The look is completed by the knowledge that, in this photo, I am not wearing a shirt.

For a good look at a classic "creep stache" check this out.

Ineffective Creepy Look

The above image is a big moustache no-no. As I once again go for the "creepy" look it is evident that the smirk is much too large to be considered a decent attempt. The squint also gives off a slightly cross-eyed vibe. This is obviously a sorry attempt and something one must look back on when deciding exactly how much smirking and squinting is needed.

That's My Buddy!

Ahhh, the buddy look. This is one of the most difficult poses to pull off when utilizing the "handle bars" look. It takes a great deal of grit and determination in order to achieve such a high standard. I can only take a small amount of credit here. Most of it needs to go to the people that, though facing harsh scrutiny, still manage to keep the dream of moustaches and normalcy alive. In no particular order; Burt Reynolds, Jake Plummer, Adam Morrison, and, the master, Derek Smalls of Spinal Tap.

This is simply called the "eating pop-rocks with a moustache" look. Amazingly enough, there were no pop-rocks available and the whole thing was done ad lib.

Moving right along....

This next section gets a little tricky. It is something
I like to call "the invisible moustache" trick. Take a look to the right. Looks clean shaven, right? Keep in mind that these photos are all 100% genuine and there was no doctoring involved whatsoever.

Now take a look below...


"How the heck did he do that?... without any hidden cameras or stunt doubles? Invisible wires? Did he summon the mystics of the ancients? Is he dabbling in some sort of tribal craft?"

Settle down, settle down. There is a simple explanation posted below.

Now you see how it was done. It was quite simple, actually.

Saying goodbye, no matter what the situation, is always a tough thing to do.

A Shadow of a Man?

As you gaze upon this photo I know that a lot of you have a mixed bag of feelings sitting way down in the depths of your beings. Sadness. Confusion. Loss of the ability to taste food. The chills. Or maybe its something that you can't quite put your finger on. Fret not, brothers and sisters. In a mere 2 months or so, the moustache will be back!!!

That's right. No Shave November is right around the corner, followed by everyone's favorite, yet mostly unrecognized holiday, Moustache Day! Mark December 1st on your calender and start getting excited for a day full of joy, laughs, tears, and probably balloon animals. Stay tuned!

1 comment:

akos said...

Great to see you went through an awesome mustache season..... all in detail is great. loved it. I'll try that maybe.. soon.... in winter...