I love being sarcastic. It is my favorite thing in the world. I love it more than my family and everything else that has ever existed. The problem with my love of sarcasm is that it doesn't go well here in China. China is a no-fly-zone for sarcasm. All of the sarcasm produced in China is produced by expats and is 100% for export purposes.
The best use of sarcasm is when you are angry or annoyed. Often, in these cases, sarcasm is a great replacement for pouting, having a fit, or extending your middle finger. I find that, as I am an adult, sarcasm is the most socially acceptable of the options I have listened.
And so it was, when I was at the local PSB office and they refused to help me get my landlord to come in to sign some sort of random form for the third time, knowing that my landlord is a stick in the mud. After 2 hours of waiting for the form, knowing that we needed our new visas the next day, I gave up and my frustration boiled over into... sarcasm. I got up and as I was leaving the office I announced in Chinese,
"Ok, well I guess we're going back to Canada. Thanks."
The women in the office looked at me. They were all confused. What tare you talking about?
"Since we can't get a visa we need to go home. Thanks for your help."
This time they looked at each other. What is he talking about?
Thus, I left feeling even more frustrated. Not only did I have visa problems, but now I had sarcastic joke problems, which are debatably worse than visa problems. To them, I was a bumbling idiot.
A few weeks later I hail a cab, and as I walk towards it a lady sprints past me and gets into the car. I walk up to the car and shout over and over in Chinese,
"Thank you! Thank you! Thank you!"
I smile the whole time, waving at her. Finally, she turns and there it was again... confusion. Why is this guy thanking me for stealing his taxi?
If there was a sarcasm class at the University I would enroll and go back there to study this stuff in Chinese. There has to be some form of equivalent. As a foreigner, it is a way of life, and most of us would have a much more satisfying life if we could be sarcastic in Chinese. Really, it's one of my dreams.
Monday, March 26, 2012
Friday, March 23, 2012
Compost/Garden Update
As we roll into Spring, I figured that we could take a look at my little apartment set-up.
About a year ago, I started a vermicompost. It was really easy to set up and surprisingly effective. In fact, I am contemplating getting another bin for my worms. I think that I might have too many of them now as, apparently, all they have been doing for 12 months is eating, pooping and making worm love. That being said, since there are a lot of them, the compost is going very well. I will admit that I have probably been overloading it a bit too much, but so far it seems to be holding up. Here it is:
The one danger that I have had to battle is the lack of brown foliage to add to the greens. The greens are easy; we have more than enough vegetable peelings. Coffee grounds and egg shells are also regular visitors to the compost. Though, I must add that a good thing to do is let your egg shells dry out and crack them up a lot before you throw them in.
What I do for brown stuff is I go out to the field behind our apartment and a pack a bag full of dead leaves. The back field is basically a garbage dump and public bathroom so I need to tread lightly and with caution. So many people poop behind our apartment. Yesterday, while whisking some eggs I looked out just in time to see a man's crack appear out from under his pants into a full moon. I was careful not to look out again for a good amount of time. What makes people think that they are pooping in privacy when a 28 story building stands right next to them... with all of the kitchen windows facing them... at breakfast time? They think that they are sneaky but they are not. Anyways, going out, dodging the "landmines" and scouring the ground for useful compost products has turned these little endeavors into my own little private Hunger Games.
Back inside, I load up the bin. After a few days, the browns moisten and mix with the greens and the worms. If I leave it for a week then what I am left with is sludge. Those little worms work fast and back out I go for more browns.
A second bin would be for the more advanced product. I have a hard time keeping things separate in one bin. Though, a second bin takes up a lot of room, so I will have to think about it.
As far as the garden, it stands at about 1.5 feet by 2.5 feet. Last year I lugged the pot and the dirt home in a taxi. That was a miracle in itself since most taxi drivers will never let you put dirt into their cars.
Last year I mainly grew basil, peas, mint and cilantro. This year, I am going back to the peas and basil. Even though everything in the pot seemed to die over the winter, I am seeing little sprouts of mint make a comeback. From the grave they will rise!
I am also trying to grow some flowers, which for some reason is very difficult to do. I have some California Poppies in there right now but so far not much, if any, growth. I also have some sort of purple flower but nothing there as well. I am wondering if the seeds are bad or something. Do seeds expire? I thought that laying dormant was what they did well? I don't know.
In any event, the peas are growing and I hope that they produce more than the 6 pods we got last year. Maybe there will be enough for some sort of salad. Wouldn't that be nice?
For the dirt, I mix in some of the compost product with the existing dirt. I think that it's working well. The peas are growing faster than before, and there are less weeds for some reason. I'm not sure if my methods are wise, right or foolish, but they are my methods until further research and notice.
If you would like to get inspired to compost and garden, then read a book. The book you should read is called "Sex, Economy, Freedom and Community" and it is written by the American Farmer Writer Wendell Berry. I know that the title may sound a little scandalous but it's really not that kind of book. I had bought it a few years ago and finally got down to it. I read it in a week. It's a very enlightening, interesting and educational collection of works that attempt to explain why the world is the way it is, and how it could be a whole lot better if the world still held high the values of community. Along with that, it is a great overall encouragement for composting. I highly recommend it, and if you live in Xining, for a limited time only, you can borrow it from me for zero dollars!
And finally, I got a little glimpse of the article I wrote for my vermicompost in Geez Magazine. The glimpse is here:
So, if you are in Canada and can get your mitts on a copy then please do. After reading and enjoying, write them and tell them how awesome my little blurb is and that you want more, more, more from this Brett Gitzel character. You like the cut of his jib, etc.
About a year ago, I started a vermicompost. It was really easy to set up and surprisingly effective. In fact, I am contemplating getting another bin for my worms. I think that I might have too many of them now as, apparently, all they have been doing for 12 months is eating, pooping and making worm love. That being said, since there are a lot of them, the compost is going very well. I will admit that I have probably been overloading it a bit too much, but so far it seems to be holding up. Here it is:
 |
| Compost Bin almost a year after starting |
The one danger that I have had to battle is the lack of brown foliage to add to the greens. The greens are easy; we have more than enough vegetable peelings. Coffee grounds and egg shells are also regular visitors to the compost. Though, I must add that a good thing to do is let your egg shells dry out and crack them up a lot before you throw them in.
What I do for brown stuff is I go out to the field behind our apartment and a pack a bag full of dead leaves. The back field is basically a garbage dump and public bathroom so I need to tread lightly and with caution. So many people poop behind our apartment. Yesterday, while whisking some eggs I looked out just in time to see a man's crack appear out from under his pants into a full moon. I was careful not to look out again for a good amount of time. What makes people think that they are pooping in privacy when a 28 story building stands right next to them... with all of the kitchen windows facing them... at breakfast time? They think that they are sneaky but they are not. Anyways, going out, dodging the "landmines" and scouring the ground for useful compost products has turned these little endeavors into my own little private Hunger Games.
Back inside, I load up the bin. After a few days, the browns moisten and mix with the greens and the worms. If I leave it for a week then what I am left with is sludge. Those little worms work fast and back out I go for more browns.
A second bin would be for the more advanced product. I have a hard time keeping things separate in one bin. Though, a second bin takes up a lot of room, so I will have to think about it.
As far as the garden, it stands at about 1.5 feet by 2.5 feet. Last year I lugged the pot and the dirt home in a taxi. That was a miracle in itself since most taxi drivers will never let you put dirt into their cars.
 |
| Peas |
Last year I mainly grew basil, peas, mint and cilantro. This year, I am going back to the peas and basil. Even though everything in the pot seemed to die over the winter, I am seeing little sprouts of mint make a comeback. From the grave they will rise!
 |
| Resurrected Mint! |
I am also trying to grow some flowers, which for some reason is very difficult to do. I have some California Poppies in there right now but so far not much, if any, growth. I also have some sort of purple flower but nothing there as well. I am wondering if the seeds are bad or something. Do seeds expire? I thought that laying dormant was what they did well? I don't know.
In any event, the peas are growing and I hope that they produce more than the 6 pods we got last year. Maybe there will be enough for some sort of salad. Wouldn't that be nice?
For the dirt, I mix in some of the compost product with the existing dirt. I think that it's working well. The peas are growing faster than before, and there are less weeds for some reason. I'm not sure if my methods are wise, right or foolish, but they are my methods until further research and notice.
 |
| A great book to read with your eyes, brain, heart and kidneys |
If you would like to get inspired to compost and garden, then read a book. The book you should read is called "Sex, Economy, Freedom and Community" and it is written by the American Farmer Writer Wendell Berry. I know that the title may sound a little scandalous but it's really not that kind of book. I had bought it a few years ago and finally got down to it. I read it in a week. It's a very enlightening, interesting and educational collection of works that attempt to explain why the world is the way it is, and how it could be a whole lot better if the world still held high the values of community. Along with that, it is a great overall encouragement for composting. I highly recommend it, and if you live in Xining, for a limited time only, you can borrow it from me for zero dollars!
 |
| Too many mint photos? impossible. |
And finally, I got a little glimpse of the article I wrote for my vermicompost in Geez Magazine. The glimpse is here:
 |
| Thanks to sister Becky for the photo |
So, if you are in Canada and can get your mitts on a copy then please do. After reading and enjoying, write them and tell them how awesome my little blurb is and that you want more, more, more from this Brett Gitzel character. You like the cut of his jib, etc.
Seriously, I was also surprised to see all 4 photos I sent them made the grade. I didn't even know if they were going to include them or not. Maybe I should take up hand modelling. Becky, too!
Wednesday, March 21, 2012
Martha Marcy May Marlene
I watched this movie about a week ago.
I went in not knowing what it was about. I think that was the best way to go about it, so I won't say much in the area of plot.
What I will say is that I really liked how it was written. It jumps back and forth between the main character's past and present a lot. The present is very confusing; the way she acts, the situation she's in, her relationships, etc. Yet, as her past is revealed you begin to understand why she is this way. At least, you think you do. The confusion is purposeful, I believe, with the intention of trying to help you understand her world and then, at least for me, realizing that there is no way any of this could be understood.
Elizabeth Olsen is a really nice actor in this film. I was pretty surprised to see that. The rest of the cast does a great job of giving a 'remote' feel to things. John Hawkes is kind of Winter's Boney but not really, but maybe, but if so then this time he is pro-meth, metaphorically speaking.
I must clarify that I love movies that you would not call "pick-me-ups". For some reason, when I think about it, I come down to movies such as No Country for Old Men and The Shining for being my favorites. They aren't happy endings, but I find some sort of satisfaction in watching sad things happen on screen. Maybe they help me appreciate my own life. I mean, could you imagine being Llewelyn Moss in No Country? I could. You know why? Because it's a great movie and it made be run the way Llewelyn ran. It made me wince when Llewelyn get's shot and almost eaten by a dog. I felt sorry for Llewelyn. But most of all, I was thankful that I'm not Llewelyn.
Also, I think that loving these films might have more to do with their specific looks than their stories. The stories are great, but the look of a movie really stays with me. Martha Marcy May Marlene has a look that stays. And to push it even further, I would add that the subject matter and the creative and insightful way that it was portrayed are probably bigger reasons for why this movie keeps peculating in my brain.
Finally, the final scene is subtle and I love it. I want to talk about it with someone. Anyone.
So, if you can relate to any of what I am saying and find sad/thriller/dramatic movies interesting, then climb into your Delorean, head back to 1993 and pop this video cassette into the ol' VCR and watch it.
PS. This film is rated R, so you know how that goes.
I went in not knowing what it was about. I think that was the best way to go about it, so I won't say much in the area of plot.
What I will say is that I really liked how it was written. It jumps back and forth between the main character's past and present a lot. The present is very confusing; the way she acts, the situation she's in, her relationships, etc. Yet, as her past is revealed you begin to understand why she is this way. At least, you think you do. The confusion is purposeful, I believe, with the intention of trying to help you understand her world and then, at least for me, realizing that there is no way any of this could be understood.
Elizabeth Olsen is a really nice actor in this film. I was pretty surprised to see that. The rest of the cast does a great job of giving a 'remote' feel to things. John Hawkes is kind of Winter's Boney but not really, but maybe, but if so then this time he is pro-meth, metaphorically speaking.
I must clarify that I love movies that you would not call "pick-me-ups". For some reason, when I think about it, I come down to movies such as No Country for Old Men and The Shining for being my favorites. They aren't happy endings, but I find some sort of satisfaction in watching sad things happen on screen. Maybe they help me appreciate my own life. I mean, could you imagine being Llewelyn Moss in No Country? I could. You know why? Because it's a great movie and it made be run the way Llewelyn ran. It made me wince when Llewelyn get's shot and almost eaten by a dog. I felt sorry for Llewelyn. But most of all, I was thankful that I'm not Llewelyn.
Also, I think that loving these films might have more to do with their specific looks than their stories. The stories are great, but the look of a movie really stays with me. Martha Marcy May Marlene has a look that stays. And to push it even further, I would add that the subject matter and the creative and insightful way that it was portrayed are probably bigger reasons for why this movie keeps peculating in my brain.
Finally, the final scene is subtle and I love it. I want to talk about it with someone. Anyone.
So, if you can relate to any of what I am saying and find sad/thriller/dramatic movies interesting, then climb into your Delorean, head back to 1993 and pop this video cassette into the ol' VCR and watch it.
PS. This film is rated R, so you know how that goes.
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